


Final Destination

by Akii



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dark, Depression, Desperate Sam Winchester, Hurt Sam, Love, M/M, Sibling Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-03
Updated: 2019-02-03
Packaged: 2019-10-21 17:50:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17647124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akii/pseuds/Akii
Summary: "We'll find a way"He tells Dean. He doesn't believe a word he says.What he wants, since the world is coming to an end anyway, is some time with his brother. Time to hold him and tell him everything he needs to, until his body isn't his own, until he drowns inside of himself.(Season 14 - Prophet and Loss)





	Final Destination

**Author's Note:**

> Prophet and Loss got me emotional! 
> 
> Sam is quite desperate here, hence the rating. Thanks for reading!

There is no such thing as cheating destiny, as much as we'd like to believe it. Every single one of our actions leads us to a pre-determined destination and even if we can delay the arrival, we can't change the end of the road. Years ago they averted the apocalypse. More accurately delayed.

Dean will be possessed by Michael. Sam will be possessed by Lucifer. And they will fight to death, bringing civilization to its end. That's the way it was scripted. Sam knows it. He can feel it in his bones. Lucifer will crawl back from whatever hole he's in and find a way to possess him. Michael will tear down the walls of Dean's mind and own his body.

Everything that's been happening since Sam jumped in the Pit was just a way to bring them back to a place where it could happen all over again. That's maybe why the last decade has been so nonsensical. From the Leviathan, to the Alphas, to the Trials, the... Whatever. They couldn't catch a break because Fate was dragging them back on their tracks.

Long story short, there is nothing to be done.

They can't even die.

Sam is pretty sure that if he were to shoot himself in the face he would wake up in his bed the next day. They can't stay dead. They can't escape. There is no happy ending. No heaven. No Elysian Fields and fireworks. Maybe this is Chuck's doing. He's trying desperately to finish his tale the way he wanted to. They messed up the storyline big time but they're definitely not holding the pen.

Does Dean know? The sealed coffin is such a desperate measure that Sam isn't sure. Maybe he thinks he can keep Michael locked up. Truth is, even if it lasts a thousand years, Michael will rise. Sam will be brought back from the dead and it will start all over again.

There is no escape.

He understood that a long time ago. And he's so exhausted. So tired to fight. To save people knowing they will lose them eventually. To fight monsters knowing a new brand will emerge right after they're destroyed.

But what else can he do?

Dean has been self destructive and abusive for years. Spiraling out of control. Lashing out. Drinking. Maybe because he knows there is no way out. Maybe that's why he's always up for a new war. He thinks he can kick destiny in the nuts. That they're team free will. They aren't. There is no such thing.

People will keep on dying around them. Worlds will keep on colliding. Fate will keep on chasing them. 

"We'll find a way"

He tells Dean. He doesn't believe a word he says.

What he wants, since the world is coming to an end anyway, is some time with his brother. Time to hold him and tell him everything he needs to, until his body isn't his own, until he drowns inside of himself.

Dean nods, he's holding him close, his face buried in Sam's shirt, and Sam slowly drags his fingertips from his nape to his lower back. He knows it sends shivers all over Dean's body, that it soothes him and numbs his ever racing mind.

"We'll find a way Dean, I promise"

He cried on the side of the road. He wanted to tell him the truth. It's useless, can't you see? We should just stay at home, and hold each other until the wolves come. But Dean can't hear that. Dean hates quitting. Sam quit years ago.

"And then we'll retire like we always said we would"

Dean may be self destructive but he never loses hope. He always thinks he can turn the table, if not for him, at least for others. Sam has lost hope somewhere on the road, where he also lost his smile. There is no future to talk about. There won't be a retirement. But if Dean needs to hear it, then be it. He'll fight a few more years.

"Me, you, Cas, Jack. Fancy cocktails with tiny umbrellas. Some sunlight."

He feels Dean smile against his shirt. He can still make him smile, good. He kisses his temple and Dean reaches for his face, softly, like he only does with the door closed and barely enough light to see.

"I'm sorry Sammy"

Sam feels tears coming to his eyes. God he's so exhausted. He wants to tell him. Stop fighting. Stop. Just stop. Enjoy the last moments we have together before we have to watch ourselves rip the other apart. Don't leave me.

"I'm sorry"

He repeats, again and again in between kisses, his fingers tangling in Sam's hair. Sam can taste the salt of his tears on the tip of his tongue. Don't cry. Please don't cry.

I wish I could have saved you from Hell and everything that came after. I wish I could have healed every hole in your heart and softened everything that burnt it, broke it, calcified it. I want you to know that to me, you will always be that 18 year old boy with a bright smile. That you will always be mine and I will always be yours, no matter what happens next. I wish you knew just how much I love you. Enough to keep fighting when I know there's no point. Enough for sometimes believing there is.

He says through every touch, every kiss.

I'll protect you from the truth as long as I can.

"We'll find a way Dean"

We won't.


End file.
